It's My Birthday

Turned 24 at 11:15 this morning. That means I have offically started my 25th year of life. Kinda scary to think, considering my [lack of] accomplishments. Here i was told my 23rd year would be amazing, because im born on the 23rd, ehh. Not so much. Amazing things happened, amazing people were met but I'm still poor, degreeless and working for the man.

In the past year I've completed more school than i had in the previous 3 or 4 years, got a promotion and a raise, had a slow love life, met an amazing woman, had a [needless to say] better love life, and took a break with said women.

I lost touch with some close friends and rediscovered some gems from the past. I met the most innocent, beautiful and bossy little girl on Earth, and lost her, all within the year. My niece that is. I experienced the final chapter in the book of the life of Cheryl Norman, my step mother, an amazing woman. No sympathy is needed, as i can't think of anything i didn't get a chance to ask her, tell her or explain to her. Ironically enough, cancer was a more giving death than almost anything else coulda been. Yeah. Figure THAT one out.

I saw my father, and countless other family members/friends, go from king of the world to trying to hold it together, emotionally, while experiencing the same myself.

On many levels i finally entered life. I finally experienced what it is to be human. In a matter of weeks I shed more tears than I remember ever shedding in all of my life. I learned that letting the tears go can be the most amazing feeling on Earth while still learning when to turn them off and be strong. I learned that people deal with everything differently, no matter how you expect them to deal with it. Some of us can make torture look like ecstasy and some can make a splinter look like a shotgun wound.

I learned that just because you're family doesn't mean you'll always be together and communicate with each other. I learned that even when things don't affect me directly, they can still affect me, a lot. I learned that when two important people in your life don't talk or dislike each other it's painful. To me. (it's MY birthday)

I learned that you can stop speaking to the person you raised and that the person being raised may cut off contact with you. I learned that those you love can look each other in the face and lie. I learned that all of that shit affects more than those two people. I learned of selfishness, and complete lack thereof. I learned talk is cheap and often times nothing more than just that.

I learned that I have so many things i want to change about myself i don't even know where to begin, or if it's possible at all. I learned that being who i wanted to be was a weakness.

I learned, i learned.. ..i learned.